It was my turn to go up. I was walking up the steep and mysterious steps. When I was half way up I was tired. While I was walking up I tripped over and I was crawling the rest of the way up. When I got up there I was so glad to stop climbing. While I was up there my harness got strapped up. It was so pretty. I was so glad to be up there. "You turn sweet heart" thats what lynete said. When I heard her I just got a big fright. Then I went on and she told me not to look down but when she told me not to it made it tempting to do it. When I looked down I said in my mind I wanted to chicken out but I didn't. While I was half way down Lynete told me to start jumping so I did. It was fun. When I made it down she said that I was one of the best people to do it I said thanks.
You have captured the readers imagination with your writing. You have included direct speech which makes your writing come alive. Your feelings of excitement and nervousness come through without you having to say it. Awesome work Arihia.
ReplyDeletei love yoyr story
ReplyDeleteIt was too LONG sorry so I didn't read it all but I bet it was cool for you not for me I was too scared to go down. lol.
ReplyDeleteMan it felt like I was down in to seconds.
ReplyDeleteOh and what a spectacular peace of writing Arihia nice work. :P